


so write it down

by poppyseedheart



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Epistolary, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 14:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14166435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppyseedheart/pseuds/poppyseedheart
Summary: A lot of things are easier to say when you write them down. Jeremy just never thought he'd be giving away his secrets away so easily to someone like Gavin. And he especially never thought Gavin would start giving him secrets, too.





	so write it down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justawordshaker (thegloryofspring)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegloryofspring/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATY YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL! I love you so very much and I hope you like this fun little epistolary piece where both of these boys have many feelings.
> 
> And also, Gavin adopts a cat. You're welcome.
> 
> I hope you, and whoever else ends up reading this, enjoy! <33333

Dear Jeremy,

It’s been exactly a year since we met, and just over three months since I sent you my first letter. That’ll date this, I suppose, which we try not to do, but there’s not much to be done about that. It’s an important day! So I won’t skirt round it this time.

What a year it’s been, don’t you think? We went from practically strangers to the best of mates. You hated at me at first, obviously, but after that things were great! And you even convinced Ryan not to strangle me a few times, which I sincerely appreciate, even though I didn’t need the help. Really, someone should write a song to commemorate our amazing friendship. Probably you, since I’m hopeless with that sort of thing and wouldn’t do it justice, and it’s a story for the ages. Anyway, enough of that sap—I just wanted to send you this letter on the right day because I thought it would be nice.

In response to your last question, no, I don’t think Michael would take it well if you brought Lindsay to your fraternity party-doo. I’m sure she would say yes, but you need to make more lady friends, Lil’ J! Maybe even someone who you would actually want to date, and not just your mate’s girlfriend. Let’s go out next weekend, we’ll get bevs and chat up some birds. It’ll be top.

Oh, and I’ll see you at Jack’s birthday party, right? I have something to give you.

Love, 

Gavin

PS: Would you rather an extra arm that doubled as a fire extinguisher, or one that doubled as a flamethrower?

 

//

 

Gavin:

I only asked Lindsay because I was desperate! She did say yes, actually, but then your letter arrived and also I started thinking about different ways Michael could murder me, so we called it off. I’m going stag to another event, which isn’t...ideal, but I’ll still have my balls, so it could be worse.

We’re pregaming at my apartment if you want to come. Ryan offered to DD if you need a ride from yours.

And wow, has it really been a year? That’s fucking wild, pal. I only hated you for a little bit, by the way. You’re kind of intimidating, okay? Half the words you use aren’t even words. Plus, your shorts were really, _really_ short the first day we met. Anyone would’ve been awkward around that much thigh. 

Yeah, I’ll be at Jack’s. What’re you bringing me? (I hope it’s rum.)

Jeremy

PS: Flamethrower. Easy.

 

//

 

Dearest Jeremy,

I’m glad you liked the gift, even though it wasn’t rum! Took me ages to pick out, but I had to celebrate our anniversary, you know. You can thank Geoff for the little fleurish on the wrapping, since he just _had_ to tackle me while I was attaching the bow.

Speaking of the party, though, are you all right? You seemed a bit glum, but I didn’t want to prod with everyone around.

Anyway, I’m mostly writing to tell you that I saw a very small cat today with black fur and these white rings around its eyes. It made the tiniest little sound when I pet it. I included a photo I printed from my phone so you can coo over it with me. She didn’t have a collar or anything, so I’m taking her to the vet later to see if she has a chip.

If not...I bet Ryan would love to have another roommate. She’d certainly be better behaved than me.

Love,

Gavin

PS: Who do you think would be the better assassin between the two of us?

 

//

 

Gavin:

So I know I was a little awkward at the party, but I really do appreciate the gift. Trevor and I started playing it last night, and it’s harder than I expected but I get why you like it so much. We’ve only finished the training and Paris missions so far, but it’s been fun.

But I’m sorry for being weird, or off or whatever. I didn’t mean to be rude or anything. It was just a weird few days at the frat and stuff. I don’t know, I just don’t always feel like I belong there the way the other guys do. I can shotgun a beer and bench press with the best of them, but I care about other stuff, too. And there’s stuff I can’t really talk about with them. 

Yeah. It’s not a big deal, I was just thinking about some things and I was distracted.

That cat is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, holy shit. You’re keeping her, right? Forever? When we got lunch yesterday I thought you said she didn’t have a chip but you were talking really fast so I might’ve heard wrong.

I still can’t believe Ryan hasn’t murdered you after living with you for a year and a half, but good on ya for staying alive.

Jeremy

PS: Me. You make too many weird sounds, you’d give yourself up in a minute. Plus, you hate guns. What kind of question even is this?

 

//

 

Dear, sweet Jeremy,

She is mine! Her name is Floor Muffin because that’s the first thing she ate upon entering the apartment. We call her Flora for short, because Ryan wouldn’t approve Muff as a nickname. She’s very interested in biting my shoelaces, so we’re hoping she grows out of that.

To be honest, I’ve never been much of a frat bro type, so all my experience with that is through you and Jack. As a Brit in America, though, I suppose I understand the feeling of being reduced to just one thing. My first year here, it was hard to even communicate, and everyone expected me to just care about– oh, I don’t know, tea and crumpets. I’m lucky that I met Geoff early on, because otherwise I think I’d have been a lot more miserable. And the rest of you lot of course I’m certainly grateful for too. But you’re right, it gets lonely when you feel so obviously different. 

I don’t have any wisdom to offer you, really. Wish I did, but I’m rubbish at advice. I’m good at playing Halo and making coffee, though, so it balances out, right?

I am glad you’re enjoying Hitman! And Ryan loves me, really.

Also– when are we getting bevs? You must really be distracted. You’re not one to ignore invitations like that. Next Friday maybe? Before we leave for break?

Love,

Gavin

PS: Rude, Lil J! Very, very rude. I’d be a wonderful assassin. But fine, this week’s question is: what’s the first illegal thing you would do if you were completely sure you wouldn’t get caught? 

 

//

 

Gavin:

Jack is an academic frat, that’s a completely different thing. Still, I appreciate that. I’m being a little dramatic I think about all of it, but it’s been on my mind a lot. On the bright side, we found each other! So that’s fine.

We can get bevs Friday, yeah. How about we go back to that Irish pub we went to at the beginning of the year? I know Austin is overflowing with fancy craft beer but I just want something simple if we’re gonna be trying to “pull” or whatever it is you call it. I’m not really a one night stand kind of guy, and I’m not looking to meet a stranger, so we’ll see what happens. Thanks for trying, anyway.

I did have something I wanted to talk to you about, though. Maybe over drinks. I think I need to be drunk for this.

Anyway, see you tomorrow night! You might not have this letter by then, but whatever. I hope you wear your studying boots, because I have a shit ton of reading to do. Not sure how a fucking art major needs to know all these philosophical theories, but tell that to my Theory of Art prof.

-Jeremy

PS: God, I don’t know. Steal money, probably? Or hack in and forgive all of my loans. Something like that, where I wouldn’t have to stress about being able to afford college anymore. Boring answer, sorry pal.

 

//

 

Lovely Lil’ J,

Christ, you weren’t kidding about studying boots. 

This is a short little prick of a letter, since I wanted it to get to you before Friday and we don’t really text about the things we write about, but yeah, we can talk about whatever you want tomorrow.

You’re making me a little nervous, but I can handle drunk Jeremy. I could probably handle whatever it is with the two of us sober (maybe??? hopefully!) but over bevs is fine, too.

I’ll be honest, I’m used to us sharing more personal things in writing. I suppose we’ll see how it goes in person.

Love,

Gavin

PS: Think bigger! That’s very nice, but you can do better than that. You could steal ten million dollars, or more! You could depose corrupt leaders! 

PPS: If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

 

//

 

Gavin:

Sorry about everything last night. Doing it drunk was the wrong idea.

-Jeremy

PS: I’m sure you can guess my answer by now.

 

//

 

Jeremy, 

Please don’t apologize. I...handled things badly, I admit. You caught me off guard, and I panicked. Please answer your phone? Or at least this letter.

Ryan texted me today saying he was worried about you. That never, ever happens. Usually it’s just him asking me to get toilet paper or empty the dishwasher or something, but he asked if we could talk because you were acting weird when he saw you earlier.

I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know, don’t worry.

Really, though, we’re both worried about you. I’m sorry if I freaked out out when we were talking, and I don’t even know how much you remember of it, but I promise it wasn’t as bad as you think it was. And if you’ll recall, I was pretty sloshed, too. (If you don’t recall, we came out to each other. It’s not just you. I didn’t realize you were feeling so lonely in it—I’ve never really hid my sexuality. I thought you knew.)

Since you apparently didn’t know, I guess I’ll tell you the story. I assume you’ll read this, even though you’ve been avoiding me.

It’s silly, honestly. I was sixteen, and my family vacationed in France. There was a university student there, a first year. He was seventeen, and he offered to show me around. I said okay, and I couldn’t stop looking at his mouth until he asked if I was alright. It was embarrassing in hindsight, but it ended with the two of us snogging in the bathroom of his hotel room, so I suppose it was worth it.

Before that, I somehow thought I was the only gay kid in Europe. It was nice to know I wasn’t alone.

I thought it might be nice to know you aren’t alone.

And as for the other thing you mentioned...you’re not alone in that, either. You didn’t believe me when I told you, so I’m telling you again.

I was going to write more, but Flora’s trying to sink all of her claws into my calf at once. Pretty sure she’s looking for some attention

Talk to you soon?

Love,

Gavin

PS: I don’t want you to change. Not at all.

 

//

 

Dear Jeremy,

We usually do a week between letters, but circumstances have changed that, recently. I hope you’ll forgive this one, three days since I put the last one in your mailbox.

I’m still thinking about the look on your face when I told you I wanted to date you. You really didn’t believe me.

Really, it’s absurd. If I can handle you at your Rimmy Tim, I can handle anything I’m pretty sure. That color combination would drive away anyone who doesn’t deserve you. Not that I’m saying i automatically deserve you, or anything, but we seemed to be on the same page? Almost?

Bollocks. Months of chatting in these letters and I still can’t find the right bloody words.

I love spending time with you. I love the way you get excited about things, and how you hold your friends to high standards because you believe in them. I wish I’d gotten to know you the minute I got here for my freshman year, because I missed you even when I didn’t know you. It’s soppy but it’s true. And I’m sitting here writing this at my desk hoping Ryan doesn’t walk in and see the stupid look on my face, because it must be ridiculous. I’m pretty sure I’m blushing, and I don’t blush for just anyone, Lil’ J. I also don’t write long declarations of love for just anyone. Or for anyone, full stop. It’s a first for me.

And I mean this. I mean all of it.

I’ve developed a bit of a reputation for toying with people, which is deserved if I’m being brutally honest, but you deserve better from me.

I don’t know how to make you believe that I’m serious about this.

Just...think about it?

Love,

Gavin

PS: Who would win in a fight—a shark with bear legs on land or a bear with shark teeth in the ocean?

 

//

 

Dear Gavin,

Jeez, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you write that much before. You can stop freaking out, I’m not upset with you or anything. I just needed some time to process.

The sexuality thing isn’t new. The liking you thing isn’t new, either. I just never in a million years thought you’d feel the same way. Being drunk just made me that much more sure you were- fuck, I don’t know. Making fun of me?

It sounds bad when I put it like that.

Call me when you get this? Or just come over. Or I’ll come over and hand it to you in person, maybe.

God, I’m bad at this. I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Jeremy

PS: Is that question even English? Or are you just being confusing on purpose?

PPS: A bear with shark teeth, obviously. No fuckin’ question.

 

//

 

Dear, sweet, wonderful, lovely, beautiful Jeremy,

I told Geoff we’re dating this morning. His reaction was as priceless as any reaction from Geoff ever is, meaning he just raised his eyebrows and called me a son of a bitch.

He’s happy for us, though. Which is good! I’m happy, too.

And listen, I know it’s only been a week, but I could use some company watching this last movie for my film class. Want to bring over some bevs and make it a date night?

Love,

Gavin

PS: You’re wrong, but I like you anyway.

 

//

 

Dear Gavin,

I’m writing this from your couch. You’re asleep right now. It was your idea to watch all three Back to the Future movies after learning I hadn’t seen them, but you passed out halfway through the second one. It’s pretty funny, I’ll admit, but I keep getting distracted looking at you instead.

Who would’ve guessed we’d be such cheeseballs?

Anyway, thanks for writing me that first letter almost five months ago now. Most people would just flip me off when I accused them of not being able to read, especially when we weren’t even that close, but you just grinned, and it felt perfect. That thing you said, about missing someone before you ever met them? I get that. It was the same way for me.

I’ve got you on one side, and Flora purring away on the other. She keeps nudging your face like she misses you. It’s sweet.

Ryan left half an hour ago, and he rolled his eyes when he saw you sprawled out against my side. You sleep like a rock, you know. You’re lucky it’s so cute.

Also, Michael keeps texting me. Are we gonna tell him soon? I know he and Lindsay had a bet, and Lindsay bribed you so she’ll win, but the dude is getting suspicious, and I’m really bad at lying to him.

God, it’s nice to be worrying about this shit instead of the stuff I used to be worried about.

I’m gonna stop writing in a second, since I just accidentally elbowed you in the face trying to turn the page over, but I want you to know I’m really happy.

Just- really, really happy.

See you when wake up.

Love,

Jeremy

PS: I’m right, and I like you, too.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at teamokdynamite and on twitter at poppyseedheart if you wanna say hey!


End file.
